fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
