At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
