Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
