She said her name was "party"
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
porn star boner night. come get it.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
