The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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