I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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