oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
