So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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