They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
