what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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