i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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