you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
