and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
