I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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