I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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