also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
