Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
