She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize