can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
