In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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