i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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