oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
