this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
