Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
