is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize