Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
