I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
