Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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