What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
