just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
