Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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