who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
