Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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