; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize