If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize