Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
