Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
