Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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