you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize