I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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