Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
