dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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