Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize