K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
