Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
