peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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