I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
