Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
