White coat. Heels.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
