3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize