so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
