so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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