guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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