also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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