Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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