If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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