I wanna bring you to show and tell
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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