Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
