I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
