Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
