PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
