Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
